44. The Da Vinci Nap

OPENING MONOLOGUE - (INT. COMEDY CLUB - NIGHT)

JERRY:
What's the deal with power naps? You close your eyes for twenty minutes, you're supposed to wake up refreshed. I close my eyes for twenty minutes, I wake up and I'm convinced I've missed an entire season of my life. It's like blinking on a long car trip, suddenly you're in a different state.

SCENE 1: INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT

[Jerry is folding laundry, Elaine is browsing through a magazine]
JERRY: So Kramer's on this new sleep schedule. ELAINE: Oh yeah, the Da Vinci thing? JERRY: Twenty minutes every three hours. He claims he's gaining two days a week. ELAINE: Two days? What's he doing with all that extra time? JERRY: I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it involves a lot of bursting in here. [Kramer slides in through the open door]
KRAMER: Jerry, my man! I've got it! JERRY: Got what?

SCENE 2: INT. MONK'S DINER

[Jerry and George are eating lunch]
GEORGE: I'm telling you, Jerry, this new sleep schedule is revolutionary. I'm going to try it. JERRY: You? You can barely stay awake through a whole movie. You'd fall asleep twenty minutes into the nap. GEORGE: No, I'm serious. Think of all the extra time! I could finally write my autobiography. JERRY: Your autobiography? 'The Story of a Man Who Achieved Very Little, and Slept Even Less'? GEORGE: It'll be a bestseller! A cautionary tale.

SCENE 3: INT. ELAINE'S OFFICE

[Elaine is at her desk, Mr. Peterman enters]
PETERMAN: Elaine, my dear, I need you to track down a first edition of 'Moby Dick'. ELAINE: Moby Dick? Why? PETERMAN: It reminds me of a time I was adrift at sea, clinging to a piece of driftwood, surrounded by narwhals... ELAINE: Narwhals? PETERMAN: Magnificent creatures. Anyway, the book.

SCENE 4: INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT

[Jerry is watching TV, Kramer bursts in, wide awake]
KRAMER: Jerry, I've cracked the code! JERRY: What code? KRAMER: The Da Vinci code! It's not about sleep! It's about time travel! JERRY: Time travel? KRAMER: Yes! Twenty minutes every three hours, that's the key! You jump ahead in time!

CLOSING MONOLOGUE - (INT. COMEDY CLUB - NIGHT)

JERRY:
So now Kramer thinks he's a time traveler. He keeps disappearing for twenty minutes, then reappearing, claiming he's been to the future. I asked him what the future's like. He said, 'Pretty much the same, except Jerry's still doing this bit.'